Anxiety is an emotion I know all too well as I suffer from GAD that is debilitating at times and am treated for it since I was a teen and child. Right now my current obession is that I have too many pens on my desk in my pen holder ( bad office supply habit) so in the middle of my homework I ordered a new desk organizer from amazon, I swear my family keeps that place in buisness.
I am thinking about what has happened to me over the past few months and how most people would have become a complete mess of themselves an binge eat. I never was a binge eater at all, even at my heaviest I WAS NEVER a binge eater. I was the type of person that would eat, work out and then have a burger so the weight would pile on.
Now I am not that person anymore. Optifast taught me to eat healthfully and mindfully. In the beginning of the plan I was the model patient, I followed plan to a tea and lost and lost and even made it into my doctors success stories. Then it happened I got cocky, hey I did this I can have food it all started with a nibble of this or a nibble of that. And then the self sabotage talk started at night when my anxiety is at its height before meds kick in
" I am going to be good tomororw, I promise myself."
" Back on ff".
Then my Mother would turn to me and tell me shut up. And I would then revert into a child for god sakes I am an intelligen woman. I knew deep down in my heart the plan was not working for me but I am the type of person that has to come to decisions on her own.
Every week I dilligently went to clinic and tried and tried but my body craved food good any type of food.
Mostly this type of food , even before when I was almost 330lbs I NEVER ate this type of food that much. Now I found myself picking at it and just gorging myself I mean binging on anything I could get my hands on
I knew there was a problem.
Fast forward to June thirty pounds gained and I and lost my job. I woke up the next day and signed up for Weight Watchers and told my clinic I was not coming back. They fought and fought to get me to come back I said I am DONE, I will come back if I ever need too but I am done. In the end it I almost UNDID a years worth of hard work. I knew something had to change. So I got on to my laptop and typed in www.weightwatchers.com. I signed up and that was it.
I felt alive again I could eat food! I skipped breakfast had my last optifast product grabbed my keys and Moms CC and went to the store. I loaded up on fresh fruits, veggies, Quest Protein Bars, Egg Whites, Whole Grain Bread, WW products. I had to relearn how to shop again and even cook I am NOT lying.
WhenI came home I said screw this I am done. I sold my optifast supplies and did not look back. And here I am two monhs later and 8lbs down. I am so happy with weight watchers if you eat a bit more one day you get right back on the next day and there is no rapid gain. I felt with Optifast that if I ate even a morsel of chicken I gained weight which was true.
Gone are the following for me
1. HAVE NOT BINGED ONCE!
2. According to my Italian Mother my color is back
3. I am working out six days a week
4. I still incorporate shakes and protein bars into my diet as snacks or breakfast
5. I am trainin harder than ever again
6. I feel alive
My Honest Opinopn on Optifast ( Dont Shoot Me)
Optifast is a great plan is you are severly over weight as I was. But it is meant to be a short term solution and I should have joined a different clinic. My clinic was not comprehensive, I had to look elsewhere for support and thank god I had that. It was weigh in buy product. I feel someitmes it is about the money and that the doctors do not have the training. I noticed people coming back year after year after year trying this and keep on trying it. One time as much as I love my Opti Doc, she said to me that I should try therapy I looked right at her and said I AM A ON MEDS! She should have known that. Not anyone is gonna prescribe ADHD meds. Then this same person then ran bloods and through I had a problem with my estrogen and I could be pregnant she knew I was on BC pills!
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